


Untitled_File.docx

by takenbadgering



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Adoption, Bullying, Child Abandonment, Cross-Posted on Wattpad, Depression, Existential Crisis, GNC Loki, Gen, Identity Issues, Implied/Referenced Sex, Jotunn Loki (Marvel), Loki (Marvel) Does What He Wants, Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, Loki (Marvel)-centric, M/M, Mother-Son Relationship, Odin (Marvel)'s Bad Parenting, Other, Sakaar (Marvel), Self-Doubt, Sexism, Transphobia, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, only at the very end tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-20
Updated: 2020-04-20
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:15:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23756008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/takenbadgering/pseuds/takenbadgering
Summary: from files stored in the Watchers archives told in 4 partssubject: the God of Mischief, son of Laufey, Prince of Asgard, Loki.
Relationships: En Dwi Gast | Grandmaster/Loki, Frigga | Freyja & Loki (Marvel), Frigga | Freyja/Odin (Marvel), Loki & Odin (Marvel), Loki & Thor (Marvel), Odin & Thor (Marvel), Sif/Thor (Marvel), only if u really squint
Comments: 1
Kudos: 26





	Untitled_File.docx

**Author's Note:**

> *cross-posted on Wattpad*  
> follow me at @gregorianLesbian for more marvel content coming soon
> 
> Enjoy!

* * *

**no.1**  
Barely 2 hours after being shunned and thrown out to the wilderness, Loki, son of Laufey, was made a son of Odin. 

As soon as the old man touched the small creature's crystallized face, Loki was trying to please his new father. Barely capable of doing anything but crying, Loki was doing magic. Similarly to the way a foal is nearly born standing at attention, ready to do what it was made to do, Loki is making himself pale skin and dark hair in an attempt to get acceptance and love.   
It works to melt the old man's heart.

Barely 4 hours after being pushed from his mother's cold womb, Loki is placed in the arms of Frigga. The old woman instantly understands her husband's recklessness; this child is perfect, as far as she's concerned. Frigga knows then that she will do all in her power to keep _her son_ from thinking himself less than.

Barely 6 hours after Laufey laughed at his newborn son's size, Thor is holding his new brother. The boy has tears in his eyes as he holds Loki, tight, but not too tight, scared to death he might hurt his brother with his grip. Odin and Frigga worry as they watch on, trying to gauge Thor's reaction. He is, after all, barely 3–it wouldn't be beyond him to throw a fit about not being center of attention. Their worries are soothed when Thor looks up and speaks, "I will protect him with my life."

Frigga smiles and kissed both her boys on the forehead.

**— — —**

**no.2**  
When they are young, Loki trails Thor around. It doesn't matter that Thor has his own friends, like _Sif_ , and _Volstagg,_ and _Fandrall_. Loki doesn't have his own friends; he doesn't want them. He hides behind that instead of worrying why people don't want to be around him, repeating it to his worried parents and brother until even he believes it.

When they are young, Hogun and Fandrall don't like Loki. They tell him that, one afternoon, when Thor is recovering from losing an eating competition against Volstagg. Sif had gone to help him. Volstagg does sits near them but does nothing as Hogun and Fandrall shove the younger prince around. "So, Loki, how did Thor end up with a brother so argr?" Fandrall laughed, smile earnest but eyes _mean_.

"Hey! I'm not—" Loki jumped up to defend himself, cheeks and ears burning.

"Are you gonna come to classes tomorrow in a gown?"

"Frigga could do your make-up!" Hogun laughed along, batting his eyelashes as he pushed Loki hard enough to make him fall back into his seat.

The bonfire on Loki's cheeks was an inferno now. "No! I'm not going to wear a dress! I'm not some woman!"

"Really? Well, I heard Thor caught you in your mother's closet." Hogun shrugged.

Loki stood again. "That was a misunderstanding!" How could Thor tell them about that? He wasn't an ergi! He felt like his eyes were gonna pop out from the pressure behind them.

"You sure you aren't an ergi?" Fandrall squinted.

"Aye, you do kind of look like one; you have childbearing hips," Volstagg added with a slight burp.

"I do not!" Loki roared, backing away from the three, "I am a man! And my hips are not womanly! I do not wear dresses or sit around to look pretty like a girl! Girls are stupid and dumb!" He was panting as he stood there, braced for insults to be thrown back. But silence sat heavy in the air for a moment. That's when he sees Sif and Thor had returned and are staring at Loki. Sif's face is red with fury. Overwhelmed, Loki turns and runs.

When they are young, Loki sits silently as Thor's close friends torment him. He doesn't defend himself anymore. He simply keeps his head lowered as he continues to follow his older brother.

**— — —**

**no.3**   
When Loki discovers his heritage, he screams. He leaves the palace and takes to the woods.

His brother is arrogant and banished, his father is arrogant and in Odin-Sleep, his mother... he can't bare to think of her right now.

She's not even his mother.

When Loki discovers his heritage, he falls to the ground. His robes become dirty. His horse knickers and whinnies. A storm is rolling in, and it makes him miss his brother.

Thor may have been an asshole who didn't deserve the throne, but he's still Loki's brother, the one who took care of him whenever he could. Even when Loki would stab him, he'd still laugh while the maids ran to get a doctor.

Loki doesn't move until the storm has reached him. With rolling thunder, the horse whinnies and runs off, heading to the stables and safety. Loki laughs bitterly, as he thinks of this, he didn't know if he ever had really known safety. His entire life has been for Odin's political plans which, Odin had said himself, don't matter anymore.

When Loki discovers his heritage, the rain seems to hold his grief. They're heavy and fat droplets. It's the kind that soak you up to the knee, even if you have an umbrella. It's the kind that make puddles that are surprisingly deep in potholes that no one remembers being there before the storm. It's the kind that loved ones kiss or say goodbyes in.

But here, Loki lays in the mud. He wonders if anyone really loves him. Maybe everyone but him knew, and it was a long elaborate joke. _Haha! You're entire life is meaningless!,_ he imagined his family saying. He falls asleep, soaking wet, shivering, thinking of the hate that must be harbored for him.

Loki never finds out, but Frigga goes out that night and brings him home herself.

**— — —**

**no.4**  
On Sakaar, Loki recovers. It's been months, and he makes peace with his parents.

He understands Odin more; of course he had projected his own guilt onto Loki, he had locked away his own daughter. Odin was the monster he had wanted Loki to be. As for Frigga, he simply made peace with her death. He knows she did all she could for him and Thor, always with love too.

On Sakaar, Loki knows what's to come. He knows, sooner or later, Thanos will complete his quest to become supreme. It makes everything Loki does fun. To him, Sakaar is like an end of the world party. He indulges himself like he never has before, because, fuck it, he could wake up dead any day now.

So when he's brought before the grandmaster, he puts on a show and puts his silver tongue to use. When he finds himself thrown into the Grandmasters bed, told to undress, and wait, it's all just a crazy game of 7 Minutes in Heaven. He finds no downsides to sleeping with the Grandmaster.

He's finally able to do as he pleases, however he pleases. For the first time since he was young, he wears makeup. He finds more feminine clothes and wears them out. No one is around to harass him for it.

On Sakaar, he makes his way around the elite class. All of them gush over him. It's refreshing to be wanted, even if it's so artificially. The grandmaster loves watching him preen just as much. He spends the whole time drunk on the party. He's just waiting it out until the day it's all cut short. He knows it's coming, so fuck it, he's gonna do what he wants.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> maybe ill make this a series someday :P


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